Wednesday, 28 November 2007

On sexuality

I am sure this post will surely attract some attention-- positive or negative, with the balance towards the latter I guess! In a society that feeds itself of a daily diet of violence and controversy (keeping the present state of the country in mind, I am pretty sure this doesn't sound like an exaggeration!), what topic can be more discussed or debated upon than sexuality? Sorry, did I say 'discussed'? Should've said 'whispered about'. The whole problem is about not openly discussing sex. That's why we've got thousands of teenagers secretly watching porn, and yet shying away from talking sex among elders and members of the other sex!

The reason why I am writing this blogpost is that some classmates of mine commented that a certain Jodie Foster film named The Accused is a porno-flick. Frankly enough, I haven't watched the movie. But I've watched and observed Foster well enough to say that she doesn't need to do porn-flicks! Because, she is a two-time Oscar-winner and one of the most talented actresses around in Hollywood. Wanna know which film she won the first Oscar for? It's the same 'porno-flick'-- The Accused. I hope the Oscar commitee hasn't stooped so low that it's awarding an Oscar for a role in a 'porn-flick'!! Secondly, and more importantly, Foster was portrayed as a woman who was gangraped by a group of drunk rowdy men in a nightclub. Now that is food for thought-- why did a brutal rape-scene filmed really and painfully well (many sites rated the rape-scene as brilliantly filmed) seem titillating to a group of teenaged-students who've been born into and brought up by 'cultured' families? Have their consciences become so benumbed that something a cruel and ghastly as a rape-scene seems like 'porn' to them? Porn, as far as I can say, is a intentional portrayal of sex, not the picturisation of someone being violated! There was a lot of talk in the class about Foster being totally naked-- which, according to my dear classmates qualified The Accused as a porn movie. Now this is absolutely ridiculous-- (and to put it in a quite crude way) what else do you expect when a woman is being raped?

I won't make this post any longer, but will end stating that this episode makes me wonder again at how much we have progressed since the early days? There was that golden era of sexual liberalisation during the Hippie-infused 60's. How much has our ideas about sexuality changed since then? And when shall we accept the fact that sex is something as natural as eating or going to sleep? And why all this excited whispers about dirty jokes, and yet no frank discussion on sex in the public?


Anonymous said...

Dear Sudipto,

The issue which you have discussed here can be thought of as an amalgamation of two topics: first is sex or mating and the second is the grievous crime of rape.

To talk of sex, echoing your opinion, I too think it’s as normal a phenomenon in the normal life-style as eating or sleeping is and that, as most of our friends and fellowmen misinterpret, it is not a subject to be talked in hush-hush nor should it be linked with dirty jokes. For me, it’s the ultimatum of love. It’s a beautiful phenomenon which is attained when two souls are intertwined so much so that our bodies take part in the union. It’s perhaps the most wonderful creation of the almighty. It aggrieves me when my friends joke about it in the wrong way or people regard it as a sin. As is aptly described in the Bengali novel ‘Na Hanyate’, by Maitreyi Devi, sex takes man nearer to spiritualism and I agree with it. I don’t know why people see it as a misdeed but it’s the most heavenly thing happening on earth (when obviously love precedes it and no mischief is intended). I would say it’s not a matter of discussion at all and neither do I support parents discussing sex with their children, except for the prevention of AIDS or deter their young daughters from conceiving. It’s a deep emotion whose piety is preserved best in silence.

Coming to the second part of the debate, well, rapes might be considered as the most heinous crimes of today, possibly more gruesome than killing someone. It kills the soul of the agonized. I can’t find even a damn bad reason why males find the female-body so interesting. What’s the fun in seducing someone who is so much unwilling and bereft of love for you??! Being a girl myself and living in a society where women are viewed just as “housewives” and a partner in bed, I sense the tinge of fear in my parents when I go out alone. Just because girls are physically feebler than boys or because we are actually the ones who conceive, no constitution nor holy book nor the Almighty give our opposite gender the authority to exploit (“exploit”??? too politely put!) us hence. And talking about ‘The Accused’, I can’t see what could be more pathetic than a woman being naked in front of some ferocious beasts (even the girls of my class found it amusing! God, save them!)…

Anyways, keep writing. Hope people have the good sense to appreciate your remonstration against a crude reality.

Sudipto pondering said...

Dear Sayantani,

I appreciate your thoughts immensely now. I have grown so tired of getting sick opinions on sex that I am surprised and happy, beyond mere expressions, when one shares my view.

Firstly, sex is something sacred and beautiful-- one disgraces God's creation when he/she speaks of sex in a derogatory way (as 99% of our peers and elders actually do!). It sometimes amuses me when I notice the dark humour in our society-- with so many cellphones and iPods around, one's ideas about sex can be described as medieval at best, and the mere utterance of the 's'-word brings shivers down the spines of some. No wonder that so many of our supposed moral police find sex-education offending and equal to porn ('sick' can be the best adjective I can ascribe to these pathetic souls!). One question (and perhaps a very blunt one) that I ask is "how were you born, mister"?

Speaking of sexual crimes, I can only say the such offenders deserve a place in hell for that. Each time some guy says something dirty on the sly about girls-- I ask them to repeat the same before their sisters.

I disagree with you on one thing only-- while I am certainly not in favour of openly announcing one's sexual liasions, what's wrong in a healthy discussion on sex. That's the only way I see that can get us out of this muck regarding sex.

Anonymous said...

To Sudipto’s readers and admirers,

Please send on your views on whatever Sudipto writes. I know a lot of people who have interest in philosophy and literature visit this blog. I liked reading their comments and I’m sure, being the writer, Sudipto himself was much more enthralled than me. I can’t believe that no one is visiting this blog anymore or no one is reading such thought provoking articles. Precisely, I myself was very much inspired to find so many people who think uniquely and aspire to become good human beings when I had discovered Sudipto’s blog.

And please, I’m not writing this because Sudipto or anyone else has asked me to – well, anyways, for that matter I hardly obey anyone who tries to order me about. I’ve been visiting this blog quite regularly for past one and a half months, but I haven’t found anyone else writing here other than me (and of course, Sudipto) – which is shocking! Have all people lost their knack or taste for good films, good books and burning issues of current times?? Certainly not (I would like to be optimistic). So, if you do visit Sudipto Pondering, please send your opinions (positive or negative). We need opinions because we would like to know we have friends in the path we are travelling.

I hope no one would give the reason of not finding time – that’s a bad alibi, as me and Sudipto both find enough time for such talks reading in Class 12th and our Board exams round the corner.

Hoping for a positive and a better response…
Sudipto’s friend.