Thursday, 23 August 2007

My folly....

This time I'll make it really short. This is something rather personal which I would like to share with those who care to look up at my blog. I made a mistake today. I, the eternally emotional philosophical idealist, forgot his own words of wisdom for four long hours. For these four hours, I tried to figure out how much a particular person (I don't deem it right to disclose the name!) loves me. The parameter on which I was trying to evaluate love was something really foolish: need! I tried to figure out how much the person in question (named XYZ henceforth) 'needs' me. And then suddenly, I realised how foolish I had been for these four hours.

How could I make the foolishness of evaluating love (which is in itself quite a tough job!) in terms of the need XYZ felt for me? Love is something that is beautiful. Something that transcends all earthly needs of food, shelter, money, need, want etc. And anyway, how much help am I really of, that someone should feel the need to love me? I forgot the imagery that had captivated me: "Set the bird free. If it comes back to you, it was always yours. If it doesn't, it never was!" Deep inside I was trying to entertain the idea that XYZ is bound to 'love' (in the distorted sense of the word) and need me. Now, I feel really sorry for having chided XYZ in my own mind (thankfully I had confined that extreme irrational anger to myself!). I shouldn't have done so. But in a way, I am thankful that I committed this folly. This was a lesson I had to realise. I thank God for giving me the wisdom that relationships require to be understood. This post is a heartfelt sorry to XYZ ; and a big thanks to my conscience-- once again you showed me the right way.


Anonymous said...

Something that transcends all earthly needs of food, shelter, money, need, want etc

really? this coming from a 18 year old? how much of the world have you seen? how many relationships have you had or built? how many people do you really know on earth>

Sudipto pondering said...

Dear Mr. Anonymous,
Let me correct you. I am just 17. As far as you question is concerned, let me add that I have indeed seen very little of the world. I am no know-it-all master of wisdom and knowledge.

But I do have a heart. A heart that does most of the thinking for me. I am overtly sentimental and philosophical. You can call me a big fool for always doing what my heart says, but that's the truth. A truth I can't help change, and I don't want to either! When I wrote about love, I was speaking from my heart. And as such, my verdict remains unchanged. I have had very few relationships as such (and I don't want to have with many anyway!), but in case of certain persons the emotions I hold aren't governed by any of the mentioned attributes. The person in question, XYZ, is one of them.

P.S.: I don't know if you are the same mr. anonymous as before, but I must at least thank you for being decent with your language! What's the problem with revealing your name, eh? Or are you some celebrity afraid of coming into the public glare?

Sudipto pondering said...

A correction: 'your question' (ref.- third sentence of my previous post). My apologies for the mistake!

Subhra Das said...

I came across your looking for something my mind and heart searched but couldn't quite specify what. Anywayz in line with your reply to mr. anonymous I have always found it very weird when people say that at a young age you should not be talkin high-brow things about love. But I ask what has love got to do with age or experience, it is afterall a universal experience felt by one and all. A good retort to the comment...and glad to come across someone so articulate at such a young age.

Sudipto Basu said...

@Subhra Das,
Thanks a lot for your comment. Underestimating youth is big and fatal mistake: a certain Voldemort did the mistake of underestimating a young Harry Potter. He also made ultimate folly of branding love as an illusion revered by sentimental and weak fools, and hence he never realised how powerful and good love is! And that is why Voldemort never had any friend to trust, nor anyone to protect me in time of need..

Subhra Das said...

Absolutely and it was this folly which Dumbledore kept pointing out all the time. Of fiction apart, love is truly what makes us human. Without love there would be no difference between an android and we humans.

Sudipto Basu said...

And sorry for the mistakes in my previous comment:

1. The first line should be 'Underestimating youth is a mistake...'

2. The second line should stand as 'He also made the ultimate folly...'

3. And lastly, '...nor anyone to protect him in time of need..'

Seems I got too careless; else three mistakes shouldn't have occurred in such a short comment!

Anyway, Subhra di, thanks again for your comment. Kindly go through my other posts too, when you have time! And Happy New Year to you..

Subhra Das said...

Hmm...mistakes are a part of life, so long they are not the ultimate rather the ones we can learn from its good. Happy new year to you too. I will surely go through your other posts, a request to you to go through my blog also. Happy New Year to you too!!! Have a great year ahead.
PS: you addressing me as 'di' brought back memories from Calcutta where new relationships were forged every second based on this mutual respect. Sadly its hard to come by in South India, specially in our generation.